What is workplace conflict coaching?
It’s focused, one-on-one coaching about a conflict you’re in right now. Not a workshop, not a personality test, and not a referee who decides who’s right. We look at what’s actually happening between you and the other person, what each of you wants, and what keeps the standoff going. Then we plan what you’ll say and do next.
I see the workplace as a second family. People bring the same habits to work that they bring everywhere else, which is why the same fight can come back with a different coworker. Seeing your part in the pattern is often the fastest way out of it.
Who is it for?
Professionals, managers, founders and executives, in NYC or by video. Some examples:
- A coworker who undermines you, takes credit or shuts you out
- A manager who micromanages, goes quiet or sends mixed signals
- Cofounders who no longer agree on the big decisions
- A team where people talk about each other instead of to each other
- Feedback you need to give and keep putting off
What happens in one session?
Before we meet, you send a paragraph or two about what’s going on. In the session, by video or phone, we get specific: what happened, what you’ve tried and what you want to be different. I’m direct, so expect honest questions. You leave with a clear next step, usually the first conversation to have and the words to open it. Want to keep going? Add a short run of sessions.
What can you do about a conflict at work this week?
Before you talk to anyone, try this:
- Name the real issue. Write one sentence about the behavior that bothers you, not their character.
- Separate facts from stories. List what happened. Cross out what you’re guessing about their motives.
- Know what you want. Pick one change to ask for, small enough that they can say yes.
- Check your part. Ask yourself what they’d say you do that makes it worse. Be honest.
- Choose the setting. Talk privately, in person or on video, when neither of you is rushed.
Then have the conversation. My guide on how to have a difficult conversation at work walks through what to say, step by step, and what to do if it gets heated.
Can you work with a whole team or company?
Yes. Along with one-on-one coaching, I work with teams and companies on conflict, difficult conversations and communication. Company work can be on-site in New York or by video. If this is for your team, choose “My team or company” on the contact form and describe the situation.
How is this different from HR or therapy?
HR works for the company and handles policy, complaints and investigations. Coaching is your space to think out loud, get a direct, honest outside view and plan your next move. It doesn’t replace reporting harassment, discrimination or safety concerns to HR or the right authority.
Coaching, not therapy. I offer brief, solution-focused coaching built around one goal. It isn’t therapy, mental health treatment or crisis care, and it isn’t a substitute for them. In a crisis, call or text 988, or call 911 for an emergency.